Costa Rica Crashes Facebook Servers Jerking Itself Off

Ticos dislocate shoulders in nationwide circle jerk THE INTERNET – The Central American servers that handle traffic for Facebook, or el Fahhhhhce, crashed this morning as the entire country of Costa Rica was just reaching climax through self-admiration. Representatives from Facebook said the crash was a result of millions of posts and re-posts of videos, photos, and memes touting Costa…

Nicaraguan Soldiers Invade Coco Island, Hammerhead Sharks Furious

Incessant complaints give International Court judges chronic migraines Puntarenas – This morning, four men were rescued from a drifting dinghy and rushed to the Max Terán Valls Hospital to be treated for heat stroke and dehydration. They identified themselves as rangers from the Isla de Coco National Park, and gave an unusual account of being…

U.S. Woman Granted Costa Rican Residency in Record 9 Years

President congratulates Migration offices for exemplary efficiency SAN JOSE – Nine short years after applying for residency, Boston native Janice Bradford can finally leave and enter Costa Rica without having to show migration officials a wrinkled tramite paper from 2005. Bradford, who speaks flawless Spanish and has mothered four children in Costa Rica with her Tico husband,…

Costa Rica 3rd Most Powerful Army-less Nation, Study Shows

UN applauds country for pretending to be aggressive sometimes SAN JOSE – Days after celebrating the 65th anniversary of the abolition of its military, Costa Rica was voted the world’s third most powerful army-less nation, according to a United Nations study. Costa Rica surged ahead in the world rankings this year due to its ferocious…

Nica Gallo Pinto Tastes Better, Lifelong Xenophobe Admits

Guilt-stricken Tico comes clean about his treasonous palate  OROTINA – Local cell phone repair proprietor and roadside plantain salesman Juan Carlos Pérez made a shocking public announcement to the Orotina community Sunday morning: he prefers Nicaraguan Gallo Pinto over the Tico dish. Perez made the announcement at the close of Sunday morning mass during the…

Costa Rica Cancels NBC Thinking It Was “Nicaraguan Broadcasting Company”

Must wait one calendar year to renew subscription SAN JOSE –  Television channel NBC was removed from Costa Rican airwaves last month because the acronym was thought to stand for the “Nicaraguan Broadcasting Company”, Telecommunications Superintendent Sutel announced this week, finally explaining the station’s mysterious disappearance. The decision to remove NBC was made by national…