Nicaraguan Soldiers Invade Coco Island, Hammerhead Sharks Furious

Incessant complaints give International Court judges chronic migraines Puntarenas – This morning, four men were rescued from a drifting dinghy and rushed to the Max Terán Valls Hospital to be treated for heat stroke and dehydration. They identified themselves as rangers from the Isla de Coco National Park, and gave an unusual account of being…

Costa Rica Trapped in Rerun

Entire country caught in temporal loop scientist reports SAN JOSÉ — Two weeks ago, at the International Court of Justice in The Hague, Costa Rica filed a complaint against Nicaragua regarding the military occupation of Isla Calero. At about the same time, the government closed the ill-famed Platina, the bridge spanning the Virilla River, with promises…

2016 Hangs Self Ahead of Holiday Season to End Misery

Year leaves suicide note, apologizes for collapse of mankind BROOKLYN — Fearing further political upheaval, unimaginable deaths and overall human decay during the final three weeks of the year, 2016 was found hanging this morning in its studio apartment in Williamsburg. It was 347 days old. “Trump, Brexit, Gene Wilder, Zika, David Fucking Bowie,” 2016…