Costa Rica Crashes Facebook Servers Jerking Itself Off

Ticos dislocate shoulders in nationwide circle jerk THE INTERNET – The Central American servers that handle traffic for Facebook, or el Fahhhhhce, crashed this morning as the entire country of Costa Rica was just reaching climax through self-admiration. Representatives from Facebook said the crash was a result of millions of posts and re-posts of videos, photos, and memes touting Costa…

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Mae of the Week: March 2

This week’s mae is Luís Vílchez Díaz. Luís hails from Heredia, where he makes a living hawking Movistar SIM cards and bilking gringos out of money in confidence scams. Díaz’s real passion is music. He spends most of his free time with his band, Carne Molida, recording reggaetón songs in his sister’s garage. His favorite newspaper is La…

Royalty Treatment: Trump to Fine Latinos for Use of Term “American”

Latinos pissed, aggressively emphasize America not a country A New York Penthouse — For years, Latinos have insisted that they are also “Americans.” Now, US President Donald Trump plans to fine them each time they use the term. Latin-Americans have well-known fury from being excluded from the “American” membership. Each time a US citizen identifies as…

Mae of the Week: February 22

Our MOTW is Chepe taxista, José Dorián Alpizar, or Hodor to his friends. He likes leisurely, meandering drives through the city, and haranguing foreigners about Donald Trump. In addition to his skills as a toretto, José considers himself an amateur electrician when it comes to fixing la María. In his free time, he enjoys public urination and attending Uber protests. José…

Nicaraguan Soldiers Invade Coco Island, Hammerhead Sharks Furious

Incessant complaints give International Court judges chronic migraines Puntarenas – This morning, four men were rescued from a drifting dinghy and rushed to the Max Terán Valls Hospital to be treated for heat stroke and dehydration. They identified themselves as rangers from the Isla de Coco National Park, and gave an unusual account of being…