Nicaraguan Soldiers Invade Coco Island, Hammerhead Sharks Furious

Incessant complaints give International Court judges chronic migraines Puntarenas – This morning, four men were rescued from a drifting dinghy and rushed to the Max Terán Valls Hospital to be treated for heat stroke and dehydration. They identified themselves as rangers from the Isla de Coco National Park, and gave an unusual account of being…

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Costa Rica Trapped in Rerun

Entire country caught in temporal loop scientist reports SAN JOSÉ — Two weeks ago, at the International Court of Justice in The Hague, Costa Rica filed a complaint against Nicaragua regarding the military occupation of Isla Calero. At about the same time, the government closed the ill-famed Platina, the bridge spanning the Virilla River, with promises…

2016 Hangs Self Ahead of Holiday Season to End Misery

Year leaves suicide note, apologizes for collapse of mankind BROOKLYN — Fearing further political upheaval, unimaginable deaths and overall human decay during the final three weeks of the year, 2016 was found hanging this morning in its studio apartment in Williamsburg. It was 347 days old. “Trump, Brexit, Gene Wilder, Zika, David Fucking Bowie,” 2016…

Virgin Sacrifice Would Decrease Volcanic Activity Experts Say

Sacrifice refuses to throw himself into the crater HEREDIA — Eruptions from the Turrialba Volcano continued Thursday afternoon, spewing even more ash into the air. The explosion is the most recent in the increasingly violent activity from the volcano. Scientists are concerned that if preventative measures are not taken soon, the entire central valley will become covered…

Mae of the Week: May 5

Our MOTW is Alejandr@ Mora. Alejandr@ is 24-years old and lives in Tibas. She’s self-employed, and says that she likes to ‘cuidar a sus clientes’. Her hobbies include shopping, evening strolls around Barrio Amón, and gender-corrective surgeries. Her favorite food is huevos.