Nicaragua to Pay Costa Rica 4 Tons of Tostones, 61 Bottles of Flor de Caña for Isla Calero Incursion, International Court Rules

“Justicia, tierra y algo pa’ picar” former President Laura Chinchilla tweets THE HAGUE – Costa Ricans are in full celebration mode today after the International Court of Justice finally brought the judicial hammer down on Nicaragua on Friday, forcing them fork over their most prized possessions – tostones and Flor de Caña rum – for…

Promete PRI Robar Elecciones Presidenciales

Se ha comprobado que el engaño es la mejor táctica para asegurar el triunfo, dice líder del partido. Edo. de México — Miembros del Partido Revolucionario Institucional (PRI) tomaron las calles el fin de semana para asegurar a sus seguidores que ganarán la elección este verano, ya que el partido está tan enfermo de poder,…

Mexico Ruling Party Promises to Rig 2018 Presidential Elections

Cheating historically proven as best strategy to win, PRI President says STATE OF MEXICO — Members of Mexico’s PRI took to the streets this weekend to reassure supporters that, if a victory in the 2018 presidential elections is ever in doubt, the power-drunk party will revert to its most tried-and-true success tactic: Shameless electoral fraud. “Authentic…

Mexico’s Rafa Marquez Announces Soccer Retirement To Pursue Drug Lord Ambitions

GUADALAJARA — Mexican national team defender Rafael Marquez announced his retirement from fútbol today, telling a press conference he is ready to commit more time to his budding drug-trafficking career and scaling the hierarchy of the Sinaloa and/or Jalisco New Generation drug cartels. Marquez, whose decorated career includes a stint with Barcelona FC and an on-field assassination attempt on former U.S.…

Americans Committed to Tradition of Cultural Ignorance This Cinco De Mayo

‘MERICA __ Tex-Mex restaurants  across the country are banding together this week to ensure the flawed traditions of margaritas, sombreros, maracas, bastardized Mexican food and overall cultural cluelessness are again propagated upon masses of uninformed Americans this Cinco De Mayo. Friday’s Cinco De Mayo promises to be another idiot-dance of obliviousness celebrated by legions of white…

Mirrey of the Week: April 24

Luis Alejandro Mayer Sanchez III is the first-ever Mirrey Of The Week featured in El Pejibaye, which is expanding its coverage breadth to highlight this fine specimen of overprivileged, underworked jovenes found celebrating themselves in the Mexico City metropolis. Mayer, known by friends as El Káiser, is a recent ITAM graduate employed by his father’s commercial real…