GUAPILES – Costa Rica’s Cultural Ministry unveiled a 12-foot statue in downtown Guapiles today to honor the woman who valiantly shoved a Sony flat-screen beneath her dress last November and walked straight the Hell out of an M Express electronics store like a superhuman.
Tragateles, as the unknown woman has been nicknamed since her robbery video has gone viral, will be enshrined today for “proving that no international conglomerate mega-chain can deter the sheer determination of true bravery,” Culture Minister Manuel Obregon said. Guapiles Mayor Emilio Espinoza said Tragateles, who last week evaded police by swimming down a river with the flat-screen while still watching a Two and A Half Men re-run and eating Mejitos, is a “hero to all Guapileños unable to buy plasmas and are confined to still using dial-up internets,” he said.
“She is like modern day Madre Teresa,” said Caro Contreras, who wore a Tragateles t-shirt to the statue unveiling. “If this town was looking for a role model, we now clearly have one.”
The statue, adorned with angel’s wings, symbolizes Tragateles ability to soar above the law with heavenly grace, Obregon said. He also insisted that no local residents cooperate with the police in their investigation, which is akin to “the arrest of Robin Hood or Ghandi,” he said.