Mae of the Week: January 30

This issue’s Mae is Daniel Soley, or ‘Big Papi D’ to his friends. Papi D is currently between bretes. He says he recently ‘bounced’ from his last job because they ‘was trippin’. However, Papi D is the type of man that will always provide for his ‘hoes in different area codes’, whether they need a…

Venezuelan President Maduro Abducted By Aliens During Costa Rica Visit

Maduro avoids terrorist threat, can’t escape aliens, according to Presidential statement SAN JOSE — While Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro was successfully able to the avoid the terrorists he said were waiting for him during his visit to Costa Rica, he wasn’t able to escape…aliens. Maduro, who prior to his visit to the army-less Central American…

Costa Rica Observes Three Days of Mourning for Exit of Wendy’s

Ticos hold candlelight vigils at abandoned restaurants to honor “Guendy” SAN JOSE — Costa Ricans everywhere will hold a moment of silence today to honor the exit of popular Unitedstatesian restaurant Wendy’s after the hamburger franchise up and abandoned the Central American country, leaving behind a trail of tears and unrealized Bahhhconator orders. Almost overnight, all 10…

Mae of the Week: January 22

Our M.O.T.W. is Andrés Carvajal Durán. Hailing from nearby Naranjo, he has been attending the Festival de Palmares since his father abandoned him there in 1988. Carvajal describes himself as “el Rey de la Fiesta”. His pastimes include inappropriate hugging, public urination, chugging and puking chileguaro, contending that Imperial is the greatest beer in the world, and flirting with gringas…

Costa Rica Dedicates Statute to Heroic Television Thief “Tragateles”

Guapiles honors “Tragateles” for courageous flat-screen robbery heard round the world GUAPILES – Costa Rica’s Cultural Ministry unveiled a 12-foot statue in downtown Guapiles today to honor the woman who valiantly shoved a Sony flat-screen beneath her dress last November and walked straight the Hell out of an M Express electronics store like a superhuman. Tragateles,…