Sean Paul Promises No Intelligible Lyrics in Costa Rican Concert

“It gohn b wun a da ottist chows Cahsta Rika Eva Sein”

SPPALMARES – Jamaican born rapper Sean Paul assured his Costa Rican fans this morning that he will not sing one single intelligible word during his concert Sunday to close the annual Palmares festival.

“Ai dohnt gut no planz 2 sai nuttin da pipple kin nderstahn,” Paul said in a press conference at San Jose’s Juan Santamaria International Airport. “Gowna bea a hawt, hawt chow fo awl yah Cohsta Reekans!”

Known for his heavily accented, rapid fire rap lyrics that are almost entirely incomprehensible, Paul said that some of his recent hits such as “Other side of love” contain far too many discernible words.

“I’m not being true to myself anymore,” Paul said through a translator. “I made a career on songs with almost no real words and I fear I’ve gotten away from that. At my last concert, people were singing along with me. I knew I’d hit rock bottom.”

To rectify his recent struggles with adequate annunciation, Paul has pledged to return to his indecipherable roots Sunday in Costa Rica. Paul said his raps this weekend will be more akin to those earlier in his career, such as the intros to the songs “I’m still in love with you” and “Baby Boy,” which sound like someone speaking hieroglyphics.

“Rememba dat sawng ‘Got 2 Luv Ya’?” Paul asked. “Nahbudy cud ‘ndahstan ehny o’ dem liriks. Ai wahnt 2 git bak 2 dat stiel @ Palmahhrez.”

Paul added that if anyone can comprehend more than six words during his 18-song set, he will refund their concert tickets or give them a free, ridiculously bad “Sean Paul” haircut.

“I know people speak Spanish in Costa Rica,” Paul said through his translator that has studied SeanPaulenysian for six years. “But I assure you no one of any language will know what I be sayin’ this Sunday.”

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