Couldn’t deceive customers anymore with the overused expression
PLAZA VIQUEZ – Oscar Morales, a 20-year veteran of the Plaza Viquez feria in San Jose, finally cracked last week when he bravely became the first vendor in Costa Rican history to use the phrase “Solo mas o menos” when trying to entice customers to his onion cart.
This past Saturday, Morales could audibly be heard shouting “Cebolla, solo mas o menos! Mas o menos cebolla aqui!” He also was heard yelling “Cebollas sobrevaloradas! Cebollas no tan baratas!”
When asked about his bizarre sales tactics, Morales was straight to the point.
“It was a moral decision. I just couldn’t lie to my customers anymore,” he told El Pejibaye. “Grandmas are using what they think are good onions in their tamales and ceviche. It’s just not right.”
In more than 20 years of selling onions, Morales said he’s never seen such low quality. He attributes it to a combination of a light rainy season and accidentally pouring gallons of leftover holiday Rompope into his crops.
A competing onion vender, who asked to remain unnamed, was stunned by Morales’ actions.
“It’s loco, mae. Everything was going great. The customers were paying full price for basically dirt onions,” he said. “Then ese playo went and broke feria-code.”
For Morales, the decision was an easy one, he said. With the egregious overpricing already weighing on his conscience, he said the turning point was watching the Presidential debates last week.
“Listening to those assholes lie about how they would improve the country, I realized I was no better than them,” Morales said. “By honestly informing consumers about the crappy onions I sell, I know I’m at least a better person than those cabrones.”
Given his restored integrity, Morales said he is considering launching a late political campaign as head of the Partido Cebolla, or Onion Party. He will be handing out fliers next week at ferias across the city.